So you’re shopping for an apology gift. We’ve got plenty to help you out, but let’s lay our cards out on the table first. Too extravagant a gift for the slightest mistake can make you look like a putz. Your girl doesn’t want a guy who’s easy to push around. Then again, some cheapo thing when you’ve really messed up looks thoughtless. You’ve got to figure out exactly where you sit, and buy the appropriate gift.
Level 1- Let’s say you left dirty dishes in the sink overnight or something like that. You can let it blow over, or you can just give your sweetie a foot rub or something to make up for it.
Level 2- This is where we start looking into some less expensive make-up gifts. You tracked dirt on the floor right after she cleaned, for instance. Pick her up a dark chocolate bar or a bottle of wine next time you go shopping.
Level 3- This is where we start getting a little more serious. You forgot to Tivo her favorite show for example. Now we’re spending a little bit of money. $10 to $15 of chocolate or flowers should do the trick.
Level 4- Now she’s starting to get pretty irked. We’re not quite sleeping on the couch, but let’s bump ourselves up to the $15-$20 range because you made a remark about last night’s dinner.
Level 5- Start looking for gifts up to $25, and make sure she knows that you don’t really think her butt looks big in those new jeans.
Level 6- Okay, we can fix this! Let’s start talking about $40 gifts and stop talking about how much you can’t stand your mother in law!
Level 7- This is where we start sleeping on the couch, and if you want to get back into the master bedroom any time soon, we’re going to have to bump ourselves up to $50 gifts and stop checking out that cute girl at the coffee shop.
Level 8- Did you have to tell her that her sister can really pull off those jeans she gave her because they don’t fit anymore? Anywhere from $50 to $75 should still cover us at this point, but let’s start talking about dinner reservations.
Level 9- Alright, you keep digging yourself deeper and deeper. This is where you stop verbally apologizing for the gym membership and wrinkle cream you got her last time and start shutting up and letting a better gift do the talking. We’re somewhere around a hundred bucks and a night to herself to relax
Level 10- If you get to this point, all you can really do is leave the most expensive gift you can find in the living room and take the kids to grandpa’s for a weekend. When you get back, if she hasn’t forgiven you, well, the kids are there, so she wouldn’t do anything too rash, not in front of witnesses, right? …RIGHT?!